This is the second part of yesterday's post. Along with saying "I'm sorry," we also have to be able to forgive. Now this can be the hardest thing to do. I recently had to let go and forgive someone who hurt me to the core. Writing about it really helped, but it takes a strong mind and a strong heart not to hold a grudge. Today's writing activity explains how to forgive and forget. This writing prompt is adopted from Lewis B. Smedes' "Forgive and Forget."
To forgive another is the greatest gift you can give...to yourself.
1. Take the initiative-Don't wait for the other person to apologize
2. If the forgiven person wants to reenter your life, it is fair to demand truthfulness-He or she should be made to understand how you have been hurt. Then you should expect a sincere promise that you won't be hurt again that way.
3. Be patient-If the hurt is deep it may take a while to forgive. It may take a lot of working at it before you see results.
4. Don't expect too much-To forgive doesn't mean you must renew a once-close relationship. The trust has been destroyed and must be developed again.
5. Discard your self-righteousness-A victim is not a saint. You, too will need forgiveness some day.
6. Separate anger from hate-To dissolve your hate: Pray! Face your emotions and accept it as natural. Then discuss it either with the object of your "hatred" (don't escalate the hatred) or with a third party.
7. Forgive yourself-This may be the hardest act of all. Candor is critical. Admit your fault. Relax your struggle to be perfect. Then be concrete and specific about what is bothering you. Your action(s) may have been evil but you may not be necessarily evil.
Written Discussion:
1. Think about this list for a moment.
2. In your journal discuss any grudge you are holding against another person whether passed or living. What are you going to do about your feelings?
3. How will you apply this journal activity to you life?
4. What changes will you commit to making?
5. Write your affirmations and goals in the area of forgiveness.
6. Be sure to visit this journal entry again in the future. Keep it fresh in your mind, this will provide fuel to your affirmations and goals.
7. Write a letter to the person you need to forgive. Explain to them how you feel, and release them of their wrong. (Only do this if you really mean it. Take your time. Forgiveness is a process.)
I hope you enjoyed reading this post. It just covers some thoughts I have had over the holiday. Tomorrow's post will be more uplifting! Again as always, feel free to share and comment.
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